I spent the first half of my life failing. And not failing at frivolous things either. But failing at meaningful endeavors. Things that I thought were my purpose, my passion, my reasons for being alive. How can you be born for something, so meant for it, and yet, fail at actualizing it in any real and enduring way? This confused me for many years.
No matter how many times I tried to fulfill what I thought was my purpose, I kept being pulled along by something more mysterious. Something asking me to open more to the complexities of life, something that wouldn’t let me settle and set up camp along the way. Something that didn’t care what I thought should be happening but insisted that I learn how to walk through darkness, deal with loss and grief, endure ego bashings and disappointments, be stripped of preconceived notions and conditionings until all I could do was live openly in a state of surrender. Not devoid of desires and dreams, but offering them up to something bigger than I can immediately know or see.
This strange mysterious energy pulling from within carried me through many years of transformational processes that I didn’t have any way of understanding at the time but that eventually built in me the ability to live in concert with all that is–to face and work magic with life no matter how it deals the hand, to maintain alignment with my true self and to connect, build intimacy and work with life and others from that place… which, no matter what else I thought it was along the way, this happens to be the one desire of my soul that eclipses all other desires.
I didn’t always have context for these alchemical processes that only felt like failing and falling when they were happening, but I do now. And I happen to love writing and talking about them. In this podcast, I bring forth context for the alchemical processes that almost always feel like shit when they're happening, but, when followed all the way through, renew and connect us with the beauty and intimacy that the soul craves.
If you value keeping it real on the spiritual path, you are in the right place. If you know what it’s like for life to be throwing straight up shade at you no matter how many aura cleansings you do or crystals you supercharge under the full moon, if grief doesn’t give a shit what you have on your vision board, if burning a whole pound of sage does nothing to cut through the layers of shit you find yourself wading through sometimes, if you’re sick of weekend workshops and positive affirmations and social media posts that tell you what to do to be a good person and how you’re the only one stopping yourself from living your best life now and you just want to scream because you know there’s something more to the picture you’re experiencing but can’t quite name, welcome. Let’s explore.
But first, let me say this…alchemy is not for the faint of heart. Most people don’t go here unless they have to. I wouldn’t recommend it otherwise. And by "go here" I’m talking dark nights of the soul, dark nights of the spirit, distillation, years of wash rinse repeat cycles to clear the way… the processes that truly deliver us not to our small notions and dreams, but to the infinite–the big belonging– these are processes that show no mercy in shattering every protective layer built around your, in tearing you life at each carefully stitched seam, ruining your ideals and identities until you're left with living from nothing but the unbreakable core within.
And that is Falling Into Soul.
And I'm McCall Erickson, resident alchemist, fellow human, sometimes overly enthusiastic explorer, and sayer of the difficult and unpopular things that strangely soothe the soul.
If you’ve been tuning in for a while or just joining now, thank you and welcome. It’s a big honor to be in this space with you. It truly delights me that with the obnoxious amounts of podcasts in the world anyone finds and pushes play on this one here. Thank you for being a part of my delight. All music in this podcast is written, performed, and recorded by me and is copyrighted as such. If you want to support this podcast and my work, go to the Support The Show link in the show notes. Doing so is a great way to let me know you’re out there, you’re listening, and you care.