The Original Lovers, the Original War (And Yes, Peace)
Why do we have to fall into soul? Why can’t we fly or rise into soul? Why is the way of soul paved by disappointment and disillusionment? That doesn’t sound appealing. Isn’t there a way to skip all that? Surely we can outsmart the fall, if we could just tap into our highest and best selves and only act from there, we’d be okay, right? Rise above. Choose love over fear. Light over dark. Afterall, you are only one choice away from a whole different and better life, right? All you have to do is make that choice. What are you waiting for?
Wow. Wow do we love these kinds of messages in our frantic and disconnected world hyped up on conquering anything that threatens us. And while there is some truth to these motivational sayings, the fuller truth is more complex and most of us have to fall from the heights of spiritual awakening in order to connect with and live from the depths of soul.
But why? Why is the soul down low? And what about the spirit that just wants to fly free? Doesn’t it also matter?
I’m McCall Erickson and this is Falling Into Soul
Hello my friends. Thank you for deciding to push play on this episode. It’s an honor to be in this space with you sharing my experience and nuanced understanding of the alchemical processes that awaken, initiate and keep the soul well in this quickly moving and challenging world. If you value keeping it real on the spiritual path, you are in the right place.
Today I want to explore why it takes falling to find the soul and how soul differs from spirit or what we might immediately think of as spirituality. I’ve talked about this before (see episode 5 The Difference between soul and spirit and why it matters) as well as the chapter by that same title in my book The Second Half of the Mountain, but I don’t think enough can be said about this subject and I’m constantly learning more about it, so I want to expand on it today.
Before I get into this, let me reiterate that I’m talking about soul and spirit as understood through the context of alchemy, which is a context I greatly appreciate because it helps me navigate and work with the polarities inside myself better than any other context I’ve come across. It has helped me iron out a ton of confusion about why I’ve failed so hard at “taking life by the horns” and “making things happen” the way I wanted and dreamed of. It has helped me understand and work with the deeper currents at play in my inner and outer world. That said, there are myriad ways to understand soul and spirit. So, take what works for you and leave the rest. But also consider that if something disturbs or challenges you, it might actually be worth looking into.
So, why do we have to fall into soul? Well, mostly because soul exists in matter. Yes matter. Not in the ethereal world of spirit, but the world of matter or substance. I know, I know. This might be a little confusing. Because we so often use the word soul when we mean spirit. We often conflate the two when referring to the non-physical parts of our beings. But they are different. Spirit originates in the spirit or the ethereal realms and soul originates in the substance or matter of the Universe. While soul and spirit are both part of our eternal selves, they are opposite parts of our eternal selves and often pull us in opposite directions.
Soul is the eternal part of us that is an indelible part of matter. It’s a very passive part of us. It seeks only to exist through matter, not to rise above, conquer, or control it, but to be in it and even to dive deeper and deeper into the experience of it because that's where it is most comfortable, it’s where it roots and draws sustenance. This is why alchemists see soul as a part of the One Thing of the universe, which is the starting matter, the first matter of all substances. Soul is a part of that, it's a part of the One Thing, which is why it has an affinity for incarnating as human in the bones, flesh, blood.
On the other hand, spirit is part of the One Mind of the universe, the active part of us, the inspiration, the creative spark, the light, and energy that seeks expression through matter with the goal of perfecting it. But spirit can come and go through matter. It’s not an indelible part of matter like soul is.
This is why “mind over matter” is a terrible approach when it comes to alchemical transformation. That’s like saying mind (or spirit) is more important or better than matter (or soul) and can or should conquer it. Yikes. This is such a sneaky and pervasive belief in our culture. I challenge you to see if you have some of the following beliefs in your conditioning. Your spiritual nature is better than your carnal nature. Spirit beings are better than human beings. Your true self is not your body, it is your spirit. Once you shed your body, you can finally be at peace. In so many ways spirit is seen as better than body and better than the soul that is an indelible part of that body. When you cut out the body, you cut out the soul.
Not only that, but spirit has no way to express itself on its own. It needs to unite with the soul through matter in order to do so. Without the soul holding root in the body, being comfortable in the density of matter, the spirit simply cannot come into form. It’s too heavy and dense for the spirit. But with the soul, it is possible. Conversely, without the spirit, the soul has no shine. The soul needs spirit to lift and light it.
This is the original relationship of the universe and we are it: Mind and Matter. Spirit and soul. The perfect lovers. The perfect match. But when it comes to uniting through the human life, they are like star crossed lovers–thwarted by tradition, culture, social class, circumstance, timing. Like Romeo and Juliet. Heathcliff and Catherine from Wuthering Heights. Jack and Rose from Titanic. Mary and Tony from West Side story. These archetypes are everywhere in classic and modern mythology.
If the truest lovers are star crossed, what is the point? Do the opposite energies of soul and spirit within us, the original lovers, ever unite and create divine expression?
Of course the answer is yes. They do. But only through a lot of alchemy to prepare our hearts to handle such a divine union. Why does it take so much alchemy? Because when it comes to the human life, we don’t just have soul and spirit within us, we also have the ego, which is the thing that most often gets in the way of the lovers uniting. The ego has such a difficult time relinquishing its attachment to concepts, rules, the need to be right, and ideas of the way things should be. Oh the ego, the ridiculous and blessed ego. It gets in the way and yet, we also need it, for without it, we cannot fully be anchored in this particular iteration of human existence. How to bring the ego into its proper place, which is to provide a way for the soul and spirit to express their divine union through the human life, is the whole point of the work of alchemy. Unalchemized and unchecked, the ego is a tyrant and too easily wages war. Alchemized, the ego is an amazing servant to the harmonious union of soul and spirit.
If we look to nature, we can see examples of matter and spirit working together beautifully. It happens more effortlessly in places where (unlike humans) there is no ego. Spirit is the wind moving through the trees. Spirit provides light for plants to photosynthesize and grow and eventually blossom. Spirit brings matter to life. It makes the ordinary sing. It lights and lightens everything up. Like love, it gives meaning to everything. Without spirit, matter is dense and stagnant. With spirit, everything shines.
And so it is with us. Without spirit to inspire and move us, we can get stagnant, weighed down, and even become depressed, which is a legitimate reality when we are in some of the soul processes of alchemy. It is part of being initiated to spend some time in the heavy slow denseness because without being rooted in the depths and gravity of soul, we disembody and connect too much with spirit. It's so easy to do. Which we know is spiritual bypassing. We can easily float away inflated on and blinded by the light of spirit, convinced we can outsmart our suffering, constantly chasing inspiration and the next high without going down into the muddy waters to feed and bring up the substance needed to grow our inspirations into reality.
It’s too easy to get ahead of ourselves in a world that capitalizes and sells us on all sorts of ways to get ahead. But many of us are called home to the soul through the body, through illness that we can’t heal with meditation or positive affirmations, through loss that rips us open to grief, vulnerabilities, and the precarious realities of being human. No matter how vast and amazing our spiritual ascension work, soul will call us back to the messy human life. I’ve shared this line from John O Donahue before, but it fits here again “You have traveled too far over false ground, now your soul has come to take you back.” The soul comes to take us back.
While the realms of spirit can so often feel like our true and blissful home and at times we long to fly away to them forever, the depths of soul contain the rooted and rich elements of our fuller home. To be without soul is to be without substance, depth, and compassion for what it means to be human. So neither spirit (the one mind of the universe) nor soul (the one thing of the universe) is our true home. From an alchemical perspective, BOTH of these aspects comprise our true home and selves. And they want to live and flow together through the human heart, even though they both have opposite ideas of how to make that happen. This is why we undertake the Great Work of alchemy, to stop waging war inside ourselves, against our own bodies, our own gravity and existences, our own sins, desires, and polarities. To effectively make room for all opposing elements of our natures to unite and create something from that union–the magical third way.
So…I wanna quickly review the seven alchemical stages so we can see how they work to alchemize the ego and prepare the human heart to contain the marriage between soul and spirit. Some stages acquaint us more with spirit and some with soul, some with both. Those stages can be quite intense. But all of them work to bring the ego into alignment. Keep in mind that thoroughly completing these stages can take years and sometimes decades. And like I've said before, which is why we don't do it unless we have to.
Stage one is the fire which is ruled by spirit. Spirit comes to burn away the dross, old mental constructs, the dead and unfruitful branches to make room for, well, more spirit. Spirit cannot inhabit a life that is full to the brim with identifications, confining stories, and ideas of who you think you are. Let that fire burn whenever it needs to, baby, let it burn.
Stage two is the water which is ruled by soul. It comes to flood us with longings and desires from the subconscious, so we don’t forget that while spirit may be king, the endless depths of the soul is queen.
Stage three is the air or wind, once again ruled by spirit, which comes to lift us, cleanse, and give us fresh breath and perspective.
Stage four is the earth, which is where spirit and soul conjunct and unite in their first marriage and begin to create together (this is also the place of profound spiritual, creative, or kundilini awakening) It’s a huge influx of spirit energy in the body and the body responds. It feels like you have finally arrived. But it is only the lesser stone of alchemy
So we move on to stage five is the dark nights, which is where the first marriage breaks down and begins to decompose because there is still so much in the psyche getting in the way of lasting marriage between soul and spirit. So the soul goes through dark nights, stripping us of our ego identifications with matter and the spirit goes through its dark nights stripping us of our ego identifications with spirit.
Stage six is also ruled by both soul and spirit, taking us higher into the light cosmos and lower into the dark chaos than we’ve ever been to clear out all ego attachments and impurities getting in the way of our final marriage.
And stage seven is the final marriage. The final, unbreakable union of soul and spirit within. The formation of the philosopher’s stone.
From this place of unbreakable union, soul and spirit can no longer be apart. The lovers are united. Everything you create from here is a result of this marriage of opposites within. That doesn’t mean it’s easy or a well oiled machine at first. It’s not. It takes time to adjust to creating from the philosopher's stone (the marriage of soul and spirit) as your center of gravity instead of the ego as center of gravity.
So, in reviewing the alchemical stages, you can see that alchemy is about soul and spirit both, but most of us have a more difficult time being in the alchemical processes ruled by soul. When we are in soul processes, we don’t get to do much. We have to learn to be as we are dropped down and in to connect with the One Thing, the first matter, the place in us that roots in with the substance of the universe. Outwardly it looks like not much is happening, which is hard to withstand in a culture obsessed with production at all costs. It can feel depressing during these processes. We wonder if we will ever be inspired again. But never parted from its true love for long, spirit always returns to spark the soul with light.
When the spirit and soul come together, nothing is quite as beautiful or harmonious. It is, as the bible says “the lamb and the lion lying together with any ire.” This is the peace we herald by no longer waging war with ourselves. Relinquishing the need to control and finding the grace to let ourselves be. Softening into our dark places and letting them be touched with light. Being alright even when everything is not alright.
These are moments of perfection. Not to be confused with perfectionism which is the ego’s attempt to tyrannize this whole endeavor, but the perfection that happens when spirit touches the soul and every ordinary thing is tinged with unsayable meaning.
Morning light on the floorboards, warm cup of tea in your hands. Laughter that tickles your bones. Suddenly knowing what to do when you’ve gone so long without knowing what to do. Finding strength you didn’t know you had to help you face things you never wanted to have to face. Finding the perfect words or the perfect silence when silence feels better than trying too hard. Tears releasing what you can no longer hold in tight. Holding a hand you know belongs in yours, if only for a time. Inspired hands moving brushes and paint on canvas, evoking portals through colors and shapes. Fingers knowing where to go on guitar strings and piano keys. Everything that can’t be said or seen moving through everything that can. Time and the timeless meeting in form. Perfect moments weaving together an imperfect life. They never leave you now. These moments. They’re everywhere you are. Every terrible, rotten, and imperfect thing turns to gold when it moves through your golden heart. Peace begins but it does not end with you.
Oh, my brave alchemical friends, thank you again for tuning in. I keep making these episodes and you keep listening. It is a continual wonder to me, us meeting here like this. If you know someone else who values keeping it real on the spiritual path, please consider sharing this podcast with them. Passing the love along is how the love gets passed along. Until next time, be well in soul.